Rants Achive (March 1996)

I hate all this snow. I’m tired of it all and I want to be done with winter. My snowblower barely works. To me, that’s even worse than if it was just plain broken. It starts up, runs awhile then coughs it’s way through the job while stalling about a million times. I love it when a well meaning passer by comes along and tries to help…..”give it more gas” he says, “pour some starting fluid in the carb…” he offers, “Oh, Man, YOU FLOODED IT!!!” . That may be the most frustrating sentence the English language can muster. What the hell do you do about flooding it? Every time I ask someone, I just get a raised eyebrow.
I have a friend who grew up in Alaska, where (according to him) snowfall can get as much as ten or fifteen feet in a season. He laughs at all my frustration. He thinks I’m petty. Of course he does. So do I, but it doesn’t help. He tells me that the attitude in Alaska is very different than here. “In Alaska…” he says, “Mother Nature is Boss!”. That’s probably the right way to think, but snow gets ugly and dirty (not to mention slippery and cold) when it has to interact with large amounts of civilization. Mother Nature, if you’re reading this, lay off. OK?

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